now if only I can love myself

A dedication: to friends who've touched my life - whether you're in a photo or not.




Extracted from an article I wrote in my free time last week:




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I look back at some of my friendships, and endlessly thank God for my friends. I look back at some of my friendships, and wonder what went wrong. I look back at some of my friendships, and think to myself, how much of this would matter in another 10 years? Whose names will I still remember? Who will drop by and ask how I’m doing, and who will I be excited for at the news of a wedding or a baby? When my kids drive me up the wall, and I’m fighting with my husband…will I have someone to turn to? When there’s a funeral to attend, who’ll be by my side? Who, in my darkest moments, will be there? Given, we’ll all be having our own lives, bosses to please, children to care for, a house to clean, meals to cook. But when we get down to the core of these questions, will we have answers, at all?



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I’ve read somewhere before, that people come into our lives for a time, a season or a reason. Once the time and season has passed so will they; once the reason is fulfilled, so must they move on too. If this is true, then call me selfish for wanting to keep my friends forever. Call me an idiot for wanting to keep every single one of them for the rest of my life. Call me childish for envisioning us all, a lot older, and with our own families, taking strolls along the beach, the boys or then, men, trying to dunk one or two of the ladies. Or when we all make a time and place to go watch a movie together, or even gather at a park for a barbeque. Yeah, call me silly for dreaming dreams; but I can’t help it that I cherish my friendships so much.



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The ones(my friends) I keep, I want to keep forever; the ones I don’t, who knows, maybe they’ll matter to me someday. But the ones I cherish, even though I still don’t, and may never have the full understanding of it, remind me that I can be loved. They show it to me with their actions more than their words, and I love them for it.

I love you. It's real.

I trust you. It's true.

I cherish you. It's forever.

For everything that I am. You have touched me.

For everything that I am not. You have loved me.

For everything that I will be. You have every right to be a part of me.




Even if tomorrow brings nothing. I have yesterday to remember.

Even if I lose you in time. I have your love to hold.

Even if we forget each other. You have touched my life.

Thank you, for everything you are to me.

-Audrey Tan.







Where would I be if I didn't have you with me To LOVE me, KISS me and HUG me? ;P

My Valentines' date was fun as. LoL... eventhough it was "Epic Fail Night". Neverthless.. I had fun. Thank you, Grannies!





Loving you much,
Audrey.