p a s t

Yes, well...I should be studying for my SAC now...but I've just been thinking a lot lately...about...stuff. Tonight, I've just been reminiscing about the past. My past. I read through some of the letters I've written and realized something. I don't know if that special someone will have the time to read this...but I know that this special person will understand after reading this post.

Here's one small section from the one special letter that moved me to blog:

I’ve told you before, I learn from what I see, and from what I hear. I learn from what you complain and cry about that I should never rush into trusting anyone and tell them everything that they may get a chance to back stab me. I learn from your complaints to trust only you. =D I learn that my secrets will always stay with you; I learn to have fun during times when I feel the worst. I learn from you, to trust my own heart, I learn most importantly, that you will never know what is in a dark pond unless if you jump into it to see and feel. I learned all of that from you, and I will never forget it - even if I were to get amnesia or something by the time I’m 80. One thing more that I learned; this time, it’s about you. It is that you have grown. Matured. You think differently now, and can tell me things that I never thought about, and I am so proud of you. Lastly, I learned that you’re from heaven; that you’re for me. To encourage me, to entertain me, to make my eyes roll, and to talk me through the nights when we have our ‘slumber’ parties.

What happened along the way? No one knows...we just changed. Things changed, everything did. No doubt, we did. But despite our obvious differences now...I want you to know, you're in my heart and I love you. Weird, just reading this letter and then thinking about how we are now...I feel like an alien. I feel as if I barely understand what's going on, as if this isn't my life, as if we never had this friendship. It's just so unbelievable...how could things change so much? Or is it just me...

Friends we are,
Forever friends we’ll be.
Wherever you are, you’re right beside me.

I hope we stay as friends,
Till the end of time,
And whenever that is,
Our friendship will still shine.

You mean the world to me,
I hope it’s the same for you,
You’re always helping me,
Whatever it takes you’ll do.

Now that we are growing older,
Changing our ways,
I know we won’t lose our friendship,
I hope I never see that day.

...

And it goes on...
I didn't write this poem, but I feel what the poet felt. I wonder, how do you feel?
I believe in this poem, hopefully you do too. I guess, things never really are what they appear to be...but whatever it is, I'd like you to know...I cherish you, I cherish us. More than anything else in the world...I do. You mean that much to me.

* hard to believe I still have this isn't it? ;) *


Love always,
Audrey.