younger now than we were before

Procrastination.


Can be a writer's best friend sometimes.


In this case anyway.. I don't feel like doing much uni work at all. Not a good start to week 3 ... =( but I do feel like writing. So lets hope some good fruits may come of this.



I need more hours in a day...or I needa learn to sleep less and still live through the day. Too many things to do with too little time.

At uni, we talk a lot about reality. In different subjects, different theories have been made up.


Reality is a state of the mind. What people think or accept as reality is what it is, to them anyway. But it doesn't necessarily mean that what they think is "reality" is actually reality.


Reality is an ideology. People want something so much they make it a reality in their head. In their head, everything is ideally good. But in the real reality, that's most likely not the case.


Reality is a misrepresentation. The whole reality thing is confused into mass amount of grey areas because of media representations nowadays. It's hard to tell between reality and TV. Take for example, people's first reactions to the 9/11 attacks were "Is this a movie?" or "It's just like a movie."


Reality. We let our imagination get away from us, by thinking the best of reality. But really, it's not that great. I guess, that's what metaphors do to us, hey?

I'm not making any sense..even to myself.


**


So, I kinda had this random conversation with a friend today, and he just dropped a comment saying I'm the kind of girl who is easy to fall in love with.

My immediate reply: "Thanks, but I see it as a curse."


And it's true. I see it as a curse. Call me weird, but I get really annoyed when people tell me they like me. Especially when they're the most unlikely of persons. Or friends who are supposed to stay friends and nothing more. But I get most annoyed when my guy friends tell me they like me. To me, the moment they tell me is the moment they throw our friendship away. All of it just goes weird after. And even though I strongly believe that girls and guys can remain friends with no dumb feelings getting in the way... like I said before, I've lost my trust in a lot of things. So now, I'm not so sure anymore. And though all solid relationships stem from good friendships... it's just weird when I just know the guy's only ever gonna be my friend but he so dumbly falls for me - like so many others before him - and I get handed the job to break his heart and reject him and lose the friendship.

It just has DUMB written all over it. A curse, like I said. Because I can't help who falls in love with me, neither can anyone help who they fall in love with. Doesn't change the way I feel about it though.


**


I feel.... trapped. Really trapped. Without any outlets.



blech.. stop blabbering. stop procrastinating. and start some reading!